AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE.
This is a journal designed to help people through grief, by compassionately prompting them to write down their feelngs, good or bad, in an effort to release the intense emotion they may be experiencing and to encourage hope through a dark moment of their lives.
This Journal has been a very personal project for me, having lost a son at a very early age, though happily married, there was much I couldn't say to my wonderful careing husband. I didn't wish to add to his burden by relieving myself of mine. I felt a definate need that was left unfulfilled so I wrote of my love, loss the anguish, pain and ultimately the hope I found that was sustaining me, though at times it was well hidden in despair.
I hope this journal will be a salvation to many, when there was none at the time for me and many other people like me.
The Journal is 114 pages long, it is comprized of two introductory pages explaining how to best utalize The Journal and encouraging the loved one you have given The Journal to, to write. There is also a brief explanation of how I got through the dark days and long lonely nights after my four year old son passed away.
Ther are 17 headings from which to choose, an example would be.
Today I feel... I laughed when...
I will try... Some day and I accept...etc.
The object is to give the writer a starting point rather than a blank page, which can often be intimidating on a good day. A place to begin to allow the emotions to flow without ever watchful eyes. A place to voice the inner most secret and hurt without repraisal or sensure. There is nothing that cannot be written. The words can remain hidden forever, even burnt or fond memories may be revisited and emotionally embraced.
At some point after several days, weeks or even months the writer may want to go back and look at the range of emotions that they have experienced. The writer will see in their own words all they have felt and how far they have come. They will recognize that how they felt then is not how they feel today. My wish of this simple writing venture is to give hope. Hope, means believing in something when there is no reason left to beleive in anything.
There are two poems, one graciously printed with the kind permission of my Mum, Geraldine Newbrook titled Dosage a wonderful inspiring poem describing the ups and downs of life. Another poem at the end of The Journal signifies the time we have to share may be short, so it should not be wasted but cherished with nothing left undone or unsaid even if it means saying goodbye to some one we love.
To place an order please e-mail barcpublishing@gmail.com the price is $12.95 USD + shipping. All we need is your name and address an itemized invioce will be sent with your purchases. Please look at Shipping Fees in top tool bar for shipping options. Thank you.
The Journal is a compasionate thoughtful gift, given by someone who cares to someone who needs special care.
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The greatest test of true love, is to love someone enough to let them go. It is far easier to write, read and say, than it is ever done.
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From the Journal.
After All Is Said And Done.
THIS JOURNAL IS FOR YOU.
__________________________________________
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IT HAS BEEN GIVEN TO YOU BY SOMEONE WHO CARES, BUT DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO HELP, BUT DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
YOU MAY USE IT AS YOU WISH.
I ENCOURAGE YOU TO WRITE YOUR HOPES, FEARS, AND DREAMS IN THIS JOURNAL. KEEP IT TO LOOK BACK ON IN THE MONTHS TO COME.
IF TODAY IS A BAD DAY, RECOGNIZE IT FOR WHAT IT IS, A BAD DAY, THEN REMEMBER, IT DOESN’T MEAN TOMORROW IS SURE TO BE THE SAME.
I ENCOURAGE YOU TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS, RELEASE YOUR ANGER, AND GIVE A VOICE TO THE HURT YOU MAY BE EXPERIENCING. IF YOU FILL THIS JOURNAL YOU MAY WANT TO KEEP IT, YOU MAY NOT. THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DO HAVE CONTROL OVER.
REMEMBER, HOPE. HOPE MEANS BELIEVING IN SOMETHING WHEN THERE IS NO REASON LEFT TO BELIEVE IN ANYTHING.
NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON HOPE.
I HOPE THIS JOURNAL HELPS YOU.
The L’s in Life
It begins with life, a birth of a new soul into the present world.
You live and are loved and will ultimately love in return. Then, to the physical living you may be lost, yet you are present in hearts and memories.
This journal was inspired by the death of my son; an unnatural sequence of events in the general order life is meant to take. Yet it happened.
It wasn’t until I sat watching my four year old breathing, that I realized the reality of life is death.
Confronting death can be a physically painful and fearful experience as we are forced to face mortality. Unfortunately, we will all encounter it sooner or later.
How we cope with a loved one dying will be a unique experience. A journey in itself, this journal will document how you are coping. The moment you write your feelings down, you can let them go, or you can revisit and treasure precious memories all over again. I encourage you to go back and reread your thoughts after several days, weeks, or months. They may be the same, one day they will not.
I hope to assist you through the maze of confusion, the feelings of despair. The paralyzing emotion loss can have on your body. The inability to think. The anger towards the living and the sudden realization the world has not stopped, only your world has.
Yet, the one constant underlying thought should be, just maybe tomorrow will be better, and one day it will be. Not the same; different, but better than the anesthetizing effect grief can have on the living. The world will be allowed to continue turning without disdain, the sun will once again feel warm upon your face, and food will have taste. Air will be breathed freely without rancor, good times will be nurtured and treasured in your memory; life once more will be good.
My journey will be different from yours, as each of us is unique. I will not presume to tell you what to feel or when to feel it. I will tell you how I managed to find my way through the darkest moments of my life, how I found the strength to continue living, and gently, compassionately, prompt you to do the same.
For me, there was no other acceptable choice but to live. To fall into total despair and self annihilation would have been self-serving; it would do nothing to bring my son back and would only devalue and contaminate his short life. That doesn’t mean I didn’t cry, didn’t mourn the empty space he once filled, and miss the weight in my arms or the smell of his hair. I despised the world and all and everything in it. For a while, you do. After some time I chose not to allow these thoughts or feelings to linger in my mind, memories of far better times was something I would rather cherish. My life now had to be of the same value as two, yet there was only me to achieve this goal. I would not fail my loved one.
I recognized that today may be a bad day, but that didn’t mean tomorrow was sure to be. I remembered happier times and eventually discarded from my memory the bad. With the support of family and an inner spirit, I found the desire to continue to live a good, healthy, happy, guilt-free life.
A life filled with living, loving and losing. Then learning from the experience without self destructing. You have now discovered what I discovered; and that is, there is more than one L in life.
2
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DOSAGE.
TAKE A GRAIN OF SORROW,
A TOUCH OF GRIEF,
PLUS A LITTLE SUNSHINE
TO GIVE SOME LIGHT RELIEF.
ADD A PINCH OF AGONY,
A GOODLY DASH OF PLEASURE,
AND AS MUCH LOVING
AS A KINDLY HEART CAN MEASURE.
THROW IN SEVERAL TROUBLES,
SOME JOYS, DELIGHTS AND TEARS,
STIR GENTLY WITH THE SPOON OF LIFE,
SIP DAILY THROUGH THE YEARS.
Re-printed with the kind permission of the author, Geraldine Newbrook.
( Also known as my Mum. )
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Here are some examples of the type of headings you will find in After All Is Said And Done.
TODAY I FEEL…____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
I MISS…____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________
I WISH…___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
I LAUGHED WHEN…________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
OUR BEST DAY WAS WHEN…________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
I acknowledge the deep and far ranging emotions we all experience after losing a loved one, yet my hope, is to promote the positive and to re-live fond memories. Until our minds are consumed with nothing else and we find some peace of mind body and soul.
Emily Richardson.
© Bar C Publishing and Distribution. All rights reserved. Published 2008
ISBN-13 978-0-9797512-0-2 ISBN-10 0-9797512-0-9